Tag Archives: sinners

THE GHOST & THE GHOSTING

190492_10150135259710665_605025664_6943810_102293_nThe Ghost
I was weary, and needed to rest,
I knocked on a door, but a voice said,
“Hush, hush, go away. Ghosts do not sleep.”

I felt hungry, and came to a family at dinner,
I took the empty chair, but the father said
“Hush, hush, go away. Ghosts do not eat.”

Hurt, hungry and tired, I found you sitting at the beach,
You were looking out to sea, and I started to cry,
You turned and you looked through me, then you said
“Hush, hush, go away. Ghosts do not weep.”
…..

IMG_20131111_205650The Ghosting. Once I was the beloved, the cherished, the heard. I was listened to with love and kindness.

Those days are apparently gone, and though I am still here, writing and crying, I am to you a ghost, a painful shackle to a past best forgotten…

Like an inconvenient ghost living in your attic.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

EASE IS EASY. BUT WHAT WILL LOVE DO?

artflow_201612232206Ease & Love
I ask for ease from Love
And Love eases me,
All through my days and nights
Love attends to me devotedly.

Encouraged I then ask
For love from Love…
A divine jealousy,
Worthy of Love’s majesty,
And Love loves me indeed,
Which makes me happy,
But in a state that
Leaves me waiting cautiously…

For ease is easy,
But love? Who knows
What Love might do.

Do you?
……..

Why does the mystics often ask for ‘ease’? Is not a life of sacrifice and tribulation good for the soul? He he he.

Because our personal trials and tests come whether we like it or not. But most importantly, and you can have this engraved in your heart in words of molten fire -

You will be tested for everything that comes out of your mouth
…..

Oh crumbs.

But it’s all good. It’s always good. It’s God after all that plans it all.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

“Is Mika here?” He would ask

30082011706 2-2

Questions
“Is Mika here?
Can I borrow some money?”
The familiar head would suddenly appear,
And I would reply, gruffly,
Yay or Nay, to the speaker,
Abang Chik, my brother.

Now as I sit in my room,
Sifting through his notebooks
And scribblings that I have saved,
My eyes sometimes drift to the door,
Half expecting him
To poke his head in,
And ask, for the thousandth time…
“Is Mika here? Are you done with the book?
Have you seen my car keys?
Do you have the time?”
…….

Not a day passes, that I am not thankful for this life, this world, and for you, sunshine. And not a day passes that I am not thankful that this world shall not last but one day end, and that we, you and I, shall take leave of this reality and return to the possessors of our memories, our dearly departed kin and friends. And to meet, Godwilling, in a congregation blessed to be in the Divine Presence.

My brother is not here. The odour of his presence, made astoundingly apparent by his Indonesian clove cigarettes is absent. But his writings and drawings, his artistic, musical and literary tastes, his quiet devotion to Shaykh Nazim Adil al-Haqqani (qs), are present in my life and animate my thoughts. And he is doing it all over again – bothering me, popping his head into my loneliness, asking for the millionth time… “Is Mikhail here? So what do you think of the movie? Doesn’t the minister drive you crazy?”

Abang Chikwa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE ADAB (COURTESY) OF LOVE – flash of the blinding obvious

artflow_201612111025_resized88. Passion 2
Sobriety and Patience
Is better than Passion,
They become wine to those
Who have passed the state of intoxication.
……..

Thus was recorded in the collection of prose known as The DamSunSunAna some 13 years ago. Last night, poor old dumb me was visited by the same subject, with a sharper lesson -

The Adab of Love
Some use love as a pretext
An excuse for discourtesy,

But is not love the best reason
For good manners and civility?
The reining in of passion
In deference to courtesy?
……..

13 long years, sunshine. And hardly any personal improvement. Although realising the flash of the  blinding obvious is, I guess, some type of progress.

Have a wonderful day, sunshine. I shall spend what is left of mine contemplating the blinding obvious, the Adab of Love and my trail of tears…

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

LOVE DIVINE, BY MINE (Part 4 of 4)

20150504_072235In Perfect Sympathy with the Symphony of Creation
Every colour in autumn, every scent of your summer,
Every snowfall in winter, every rainbow of your spring,
Every blush upon your cheek, every smile in the night,
Every sigh and broken wing, every dove in flight,
Everything that can possibly be
And everything that is impossible
Is spelling out, crying out;
Love, Love, oh Love Incredible,
Love, Love oh Love Divine,
Thus make me Yours, tenderly and gently
And make Your Love forever mine.
…………..

It is easy to record such words and vows of undying love. And a whole world entirely to prove it. And that is what our Beloved Lord has exactly done. To create a whole world and infinite worlds to prove His Love. The completion of His incomparable Grace and Generosity to His servants.

And as old Rumi says, if we find anything wrong with this world, then certainly, it is not the fault of the world nor its Creator, rather, we are looking at the world through a broken mirror, cracked and stained by our mortal shortcomings. A matter that, sadly, I am all too familiar with.

230But the day has not ended, my love. Our heart is still beating. Let us find the best path so that each breath we take and exhale resonates with the music of Creation – by being in utter submission to the Creator, in perfect sympathy with the Symphony of Creation, as the honoured children of Adam (as) and most favoured Muhammad’s (sws) loyal nation.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

DIVINE SURPRISES DIVINE LAUGHTER

Slide7 Divine Laughter
I try not to worry about my state,
Planning for this, that or the other,
For when God sees what I plan ahead
The heavens ring with His Laughter.
………..

Yup. But then, we must also plan. And do our best to achieve what we plan. But side by side with such commitment and passion is our humble acceptance – that however good we strategise and implement our project, it is His Plan that is ultimately fulfilled. Which may be the same, or slightly different or totally the opposite of what we had planned and worked for.

This balancing of apparent contradictions is but one of the many aspects in our life where we gingerly tread the bridge of the Siratul Mustaqim (the Straight Path) whose width is akin to the width of a  human hair split 7 times thinner.

Slide8Crumbs, that is nail-biting tension on the high wire act.

But let’s not worry too much.  After all, I bet you are just like me in that…

Divine Surprises
I love surprises
And God loves to give me surprises
And He will give me surprises
Whether I like it or not.

So yeah, I love surprises.
………

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

HIKING IN THE MONTH OF RABI UL AWWAL

Rabi ul AwwalAt The End of This Trail
I am leaving my ‘I’ behind,
I am leaving my ‘me’ and walking empty,
I am crossing the valley
On my own two feet,
Whistling a hymn for him,
You know, my Prophet
You know, my meaning
You know, my everything,

I am leaving my cares behind,
For God says He will take care of it all,
I am leaving my lies for His truth
I am leaving my anxieties and worries,
For God tells me that He will
Take care of all that too,

On my own, alone with my Maker
Striding into being
From a place of illusion
To the place of Existence
A step at a time
A breath at a time,

With His permission
We are setting upon a journey
To our Homecoming, to Him
To our Lord Almighty, 
Where waits at the end of this trail
His Ocean of Mercy.
……..

Dearest, here we are in the beginning of the month of Rabi ul Awwal, the month of your birth, our beloved Prophet Muhammad (sws), God’s Mercy to all the Worlds, to all Nations, to all things known and unknown to us.

Dearest, we turn to you, as our teacher and master, as our commander and confidant, as our intimate guide into the sweet intimacies between the Divine and the Created. Lead us, dearer beyond measure, love us, and leave us never to the caprice of of our ego, to the temptation of our nafs (base desires) nor to the whispering of the accursed enemy and his minions.

Intercede for us, dearer than our breath, to reach our Lord Allah (swt) in the divine presence ever lasting. Bring us, my captain, to the end of this trail, to Allah’s Ocean of Mercy.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

SELFISH LOVE

Shaykh Wacom 2Selfish Love
Selfish love is not love,
For love abhors anything other than love.
………..

This is the beginning, the journey and the end. This is where we leave our selfishness behind. A selfishness often disguised as ‘love’. This is where we embark on the ship of love, to cross the sea of love to our homecoming at the harbour of selfless love.

Pray for me, sunshine. Lend a hand to this weary traveller and perhaps we can keep company together. For what better way is there to walk to love than with love as my companion?

P.S. Shaykh Adnan Kabbani is a Lebanese shaykh much admired and loved. It appears that he is unwell. Please keep him in your prayers and your heart. dark-room-light-through-window-hunched-man1

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

GOD, GOODNESS & FAMILIARITY…

rain-girlGod & Goodness
Our taste for God and goodness needs adjustments,
To develop our nose and divine discernments -

To distinguish between what is to be encouraged,
What is to be questioned and what is to be warned against,
What is to be admonished and what is to be avoided,
And lastly, what is to be confronted and challenged!
………..

A SEA OF MERCIFUL MEANINGS. Not that long ago, an epiphany hit me like a truck out of control. And that is whatever I may be doing and reciting in my sembahyang / solaT (prayers), I have the barest idea of their meanings –  All that recitations and the postures that make up our prayers. What I know of its meaning and significance is the merest wisp of an understanding… So now, I realise that when I contemplate my prayersIt is like skimming on the surface of a sea of merciful meanings unfathomable in its depth and secrets.

20150804123718_resizedNO TIME TO REST. And I was happy to be at that place – that place of unknowing, humbled by my utter lack of knowledge. But today I am jolted out of that complacency of a humility that is perhaps too convenient and lethargic. For an ancient friend advised me not to be contented being a fool, and to learn what can be learnt and what Allah al-Alim (God the All-knowing) has allotted since pre time for us to learn. By acquiring a taste for God and His goodness, we hone and develop a sharp sense of discernment which will in contradistinction develop our sense of what is the opposite of God and goodness – ergo our ego, its wickedness, hate and hubris, pride, greed, envy, selfishness and indolence. That way (says my friend), what bad you once tolerated of yourself, you will learn to avoid as you gain the taste for the perfume of God and goodness. As you grow in familiarity with Allah (swt) and with His most precious gift to all creation, Nabi Muhammad Sayyidina Hadiyatullah (the Gift of Allah) (sws) you ought to now become repulsed by the wicked odour of Satan our enemy, the overpowering smell of our own egotism and the ambivalent scent of this worldliness…

Familiarity
The ones familiar with the garden of love and its perfume
Will abhor and avoid the devil’s dumping yard
Of man’s egotism, greed and selfish love.
……….

Do you not agree, sunshine? Of course you do!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

SERENITY …and the true measure of God’s generosity

IMG_20161012_233611Serenity
My Lord, I have seen too many things
That I wish to un-see and forget,

So let the last sight I behold
Be Your Beloved in all his serenity,

For surely such a blessing will wash away
All the bad and its memory,
All the mad and its ugly,

And leave me in sweet anticipation
For Your Beloved in Your mercy ocean.
………

WE ARE IN NEED. My love, I am weary. My beautiful sunshine, I am not myself. I want to rid myself of this hurt and hatefulness, of this stifling hubris that is taunting me like a spirit caged. I have seen too many bad things, you see, and I need to wash my eyes.

SO LET’S NOT BE SHY, And surely it is not time to be reticent in our desire for the Prophet Muhammad (sws)! Not when Allah (swt) has blessed us with Nabi Muhammad Sayyidina Nabiyyur Rahma (sws), the Prophet of Mercy to all of Creation in its unfathomable entirety.

The Generous One
The Generosity of Allah
Is not counted by the gold, silver and gems
In the earth, nor the trees and valleys,
The meadows and the surrounding hills.

The Generosity of Allah
Is not counted by the numberless stars in the night sky,
Nor in the schools of fishes swimming in the sea,

The Generosity of Allah
Is not counted by the health you enjoy,
The wealth that surrounds you,
Nor by your spouse and children.

The Generosity of Allah
Is counted and most exalted
Because He desires to share Muhammad,
His Own Beloved, with you and all nations.
………..

largeSo stay awhile and close your eyes, my love. Open your heart and help me ask God Almighty for this gift – to see our most caring Nabi Muhammad Sayyidina Hafiy (sws), the loving and welcoming prophet of the End of Days!

Which is fitting since is there really any better way to end our own days?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way