Tag Archives: reality

THE GHOST & THE GHOSTING

190492_10150135259710665_605025664_6943810_102293_nThe Ghost
I was weary, and needed to rest,
I knocked on a door, but a voice said,
“Hush, hush, go away. Ghosts do not sleep.”

I felt hungry, and came to a family at dinner,
I took the empty chair, but the father said
“Hush, hush, go away. Ghosts do not eat.”

Hurt, hungry and tired, I found you sitting at the beach,
You were looking out to sea, and I started to cry,
You turned and you looked through me, then you said
“Hush, hush, go away. Ghosts do not weep.”
…..

IMG_20131111_205650The Ghosting. Once I was the beloved, the cherished, the heard. I was listened to with love and kindness.

Those days are apparently gone, and though I am still here, writing and crying, I am to you a ghost, a painful shackle to a past best forgotten…

Like an inconvenient ghost living in your attic.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

MUSE, MAKER, THE END OF ALL SURMISE

Camera 360My Only Homecoming
I am captivated by Your signs
Bur wonder… how long shall I
Be traveling? To wander this world,
To explore the connections
And signs of You
But to never find You?

I am not claiming that I deserve You
But then You made me and I am Yours,
So is there in truth
Any other homecoming
For me but to You?
………

A few nights ago, I was bemused to hear two simultaneous Azans (call to prayers). One came from my phone with its prayer times app, while the other came ‘live’ from my neighbourhood mosque.

5451_109180257843_543202843_2382546_7545878_nI don’t know why but I was deeply affected by the beauty of the two Azans. They just felt overwhelming, coursing through the air like some cosmic signal being beamed from a divine radio station heaven somewhere beautiful. But then, quite by surprise, a poignant thought came to me…

The End of Surmise
Beautiful songs… But when will I meet the Muse?
Beautiful signs… But when shall I see the Maker?
Beauty, beauty, beauty everywhere
But when will I ever
Meet the End of all my surmise?
………

It was a moment both sweet and sad. I really don’t know how else to explain.

Do you, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE DISTRACTION OF DISTANCE, THE ILLUSION OF NEARNESS

The Distraction of Distance
I am tryingSlide1
Dear God,
I am.

I am closer
I know.
But I am hindered,
Dear God,
I am.

I am hindered
By my knowing
I am near.

I am distracted, I am,
By the distraction
Of distance.
I am deceived, I am,
By the illusion
Of nearness
……

Don’t be deceived. Be cautious, pet. Space and time, that place where distance matters is a construct for our material ego-world. Do not be attached to such measure of closeness. For Allah, there is only one measure worthwhile for all humanity to understand and strive towards – to Him, to God through goodness…

O mankind! Lo! We have created you male and female, and have made you nations and tribes that ye may know one another. Lo! the noblest of you, in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct. Lo! Allah is Knower, Aware. (Holy Quran, 49:13 -Marmaduke Pickthall)

All other yardsticks, such as pious knowledge or material prosperity, are double-edged swords that bites both ways if the beneficiary of such blessings is not careful. For you see, if the devil is the dog at the door of the Lord, testing the worth of any one who presumes to approach the Divine Presence, the louder is his bark the closer that you get.  Guard dog4

Thus, prudence is the name of the game, sunshine. As my lovely law lecturer, Sheila Tilley used to interject to the bemused delight of her class – softly, softly, catchy monkey.

He he he.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE BROKEN HEART, THE WOUND REOPENED, THE FIRE REKINDLED

artflow_201612111025_resizedLOVE ENDURES
Sometimes, the fire needs to be rekindled
Because you need light and warmth
Though it may still burn.

Sometimes, the wound must be reopened
To draw out the arrow’s head
So that love may return.

And sometimes, your heart is broken
So you may see that Love in truth endures
Wherever your gaze may turn.
………

wa min allah at taufiq, Heche.

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

HIKING IN THE MONTH OF RABI UL AWWAL

Rabi ul AwwalAt The End of This Trail
I am leaving my ‘I’ behind,
I am leaving my ‘me’ and walking empty,
I am crossing the valley
On my own two feet,
Whistling a hymn for him,
You know, my Prophet
You know, my meaning
You know, my everything,

I am leaving my cares behind,
For God says He will take care of it all,
I am leaving my lies for His truth
I am leaving my anxieties and worries,
For God tells me that He will
Take care of all that too,

On my own, alone with my Maker
Striding into being
From a place of illusion
To the place of Existence
A step at a time
A breath at a time,

With His permission
We are setting upon a journey
To our Homecoming, to Him
To our Lord Almighty, 
Where waits at the end of this trail
His Ocean of Mercy.
……..

Dearest, here we are in the beginning of the month of Rabi ul Awwal, the month of your birth, our beloved Prophet Muhammad (sws), God’s Mercy to all the Worlds, to all Nations, to all things known and unknown to us.

Dearest, we turn to you, as our teacher and master, as our commander and confidant, as our intimate guide into the sweet intimacies between the Divine and the Created. Lead us, dearer beyond measure, love us, and leave us never to the caprice of of our ego, to the temptation of our nafs (base desires) nor to the whispering of the accursed enemy and his minions.

Intercede for us, dearer than our breath, to reach our Lord Allah (swt) in the divine presence ever lasting. Bring us, my captain, to the end of this trail, to Allah’s Ocean of Mercy.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE WAY OF DREAMS

dreams wacomThe Way of Dreams
Dreams is not the place for
You to relax your vigilance,
Dreams is not the place where
There is no right or wrong.

So learn to wake up in your dreams
And be conscious of your actions
Lest your nightly carelessness
Follows you into daybreak
And wakefulness.
……….

Hullo, sunshine. Notrumi has been unwell of late. It is something in the air and the wet tropical season that is causing clinics to be full of running noses and rising temperatures.

May the words and our own sickness give us greater motivation for vigilance against an enemy that is ceaseless in his enmity for the children of Adam, day or night. May we be guided from hubris, ignorance and discourtesies, awake or in our dreams.

And Now A Question – Is the prose talking about what we normally call wakefulness and sleep, or is the prose an analogy, this world being our dream state, and death our abrupt wakefulness to the truthful reality? But you know what, sunshine? I really cannot make up my mind…

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

GOD, GOODNESS & FAMILIARITY…

rain-girlGod & Goodness
Our taste for God and goodness needs adjustments,
To develop our nose and divine discernments -

To distinguish between what is to be encouraged,
What is to be questioned and what is to be warned against,
What is to be admonished and what is to be avoided,
And lastly, what is to be confronted and challenged!
………..

A SEA OF MERCIFUL MEANINGS. Not that long ago, an epiphany hit me like a truck out of control. And that is whatever I may be doing and reciting in my sembahyang / solaT (prayers), I have the barest idea of their meanings –  All that recitations and the postures that make up our prayers. What I know of its meaning and significance is the merest wisp of an understanding… So now, I realise that when I contemplate my prayersIt is like skimming on the surface of a sea of merciful meanings unfathomable in its depth and secrets.

20150804123718_resizedNO TIME TO REST. And I was happy to be at that place – that place of unknowing, humbled by my utter lack of knowledge. But today I am jolted out of that complacency of a humility that is perhaps too convenient and lethargic. For an ancient friend advised me not to be contented being a fool, and to learn what can be learnt and what Allah al-Alim (God the All-knowing) has allotted since pre time for us to learn. By acquiring a taste for God and His goodness, we hone and develop a sharp sense of discernment which will in contradistinction develop our sense of what is the opposite of God and goodness – ergo our ego, its wickedness, hate and hubris, pride, greed, envy, selfishness and indolence. That way (says my friend), what bad you once tolerated of yourself, you will learn to avoid as you gain the taste for the perfume of God and goodness. As you grow in familiarity with Allah (swt) and with His most precious gift to all creation, Nabi Muhammad Sayyidina Hadiyatullah (the Gift of Allah) (sws) you ought to now become repulsed by the wicked odour of Satan our enemy, the overpowering smell of our own egotism and the ambivalent scent of this worldliness…

Familiarity
The ones familiar with the garden of love and its perfume
Will abhor and avoid the devil’s dumping yard
Of man’s egotism, greed and selfish love.
……….

Do you not agree, sunshine? Of course you do!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE GREATEST GIFT FROM GOD

20150804123718_resizedThe one & the one to be blame
In the kingdom of love,
A sin is a sin even if
You are not to be blamed.

For in the Kingdom of Love
Where the Lord is King,
Who else can be blamed
But he to whom
Belongs your
Name?
………..

Just Say Sorry. If you are familiar with romantic love and perhaps even married life, how often have you found yourself admitting to things which were not your fault? How many times have you, through gritted teeth, spoken those three magical words “I am sorry” and “Please forgive me“, while holding down your rebellious reason aching to correct your beloved’s misconception and holler, “But it is NOT my fault!

He he he. You know what I mean.

god 2But who is the one actually fond of blaming others? Now consider your entire life. Indeed, your very creation, and how you relate to God Almighty. For Allah (swt) has made it abundantly clear that He makes no mistakes, He is furthest from any concept of error, perfect in every action that He does or permits to happen, and perfect in every absence or omission that He prevails upon us. Yes, of course some bad things do occur through a third party machinations, say a burglar or a traitorous friend. But even then, it would not have happened had not Allah Almighty permitted the burglary or betrayal to happen. So do we blame God then, like how lawyers call Force Majeure as Acts of God, like flood, earthquakes and droughts?

Yes, we do. You know what I mean. We blame God a lot. Perhaps not spoken, but secretly whispered in our soul by our finger-pointing ego. And perhaps no one else can hear them, but do you think you can hide your feelings from our Creator?

So you see, all this judging and placing the blame is very much a part of our selves. Our rationale mind, subtly manipulated by our ego are always eager to place blame for everything bad that happens… so long as someone else is the one to be blamed, even God. And if you study the underlying causes in the rise of atheism especially in the West, the perception that God is somehow the cause of great evil upon us at a very personal level is one major factor in turning a man’s belief into disbelief. Sad but true.

mountain-climber-silhouette2THE GREATEST GIFT. How fortunate are we then, my love, that we have been blessed to stumble into saints who are tirelessly guiding mankind towards the true perception of Allah (swt) in All His Loving Attributes. And although we have done nothing to deserve Allah’s generosity He has sworn upon His own Name that He is the Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, Most Generous and Most Loving for his creation – the most manifest evidence of His generosity and eternal concern for us being nothing and no one else but the prophethood of His Beloved, Nabi Muhammad Sayyidina Habibullah Harisun Alaykum (sws), divinely ordained to be our master and guardian, and to watch over us constantly, 24/7.

By the proof of such divine kindness, o’ Lord, how else shall we approach Thee but through the Door of Witnessing and the Door of Forgiveness?

There is so much to learn, you see, in the intimacies of mortal love, and its direct analogies to the Divine Presence and Divine Love. Through such lessons, may Allah (swt) permit us to endear ourselves to His Pleasure by being in the company of the One He Loves the Most, our beloved Prophet Muhammad Sayyidina Nabiyit Taubah, the Prophet of Repentance (sws).

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

MUHAMMAD… Does His Light Not Shine Bright?

artflow_201609031916At The Best of Time. When we die, my love, as all things created must, we shall die God willing, at the best of time. Not a moment too soon, and not a moment too late. We shall not overstay our welcome here in this world, nor shall we leave without anything undone in this reality that needs to be done.

But however long that Allah (swt) desires us to live, will it suffice to learn all we need to learn?

Limitless, the Prophet
But if Fate would have
Me live for a century
Or for one thousand years,
Will any age suffice
To encompass the knowledge
About the Prophet
Muhammad?
………..

We found this thought preying upon me and my friend, Haji Mahmud earlier this morning. We are the poorest of companions, I fear, always turning to the beautiful red strings that knots the stories we are listening to, mostly about Allah (swt) and His Habibullah (sws). But who are we to speak of such things?

Muhammad & His Light
If I could give voice to what I feel, what songs can I sing?
If I could share everything that I feel, what stories will I tell?
If I could have my pen and paper, what books may I write?
When the darkness of my sins covers me,
Is his name not the light?
Does his light not shine bright?
………..

Good night, my love. Your humble chronicler here wishes to sleep. To see the bright lights that appear to shine from a horizon in the hereafter. It is not far and it is a homecoming dearly yearned for.IMG_20131111_205650

Wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

GOD OR SYSTEM? … and the Nur of Muhammad

Slide10God System or God
Do I believe in God?
Or do I believe in a belief system?
It is not the same thing.

I talk of His power and oneness,
I write of His mercy and compassion.
I talk and I write like I am cursed,
But I disregard His presence,

For he is here now!

Reading what is written here,
Reading what is in my mind,
Seeing what I hide in the depth of my soul…

Oh my Lord, forgive me!

Abandon me not to my vanity,
Now that my bones
Are growing old, weary and cold…
………………

Oh Notrumi, in your quaint way you think you know Him. But you do not. But verily, as the Creator of the worlds He is well aware of all that dwell within them. Thus He is aware of you, my love…

Before I
My awareness of you precedes your awareness of Me.
My understanding of you precedes your understanding of Me.
My love for you precedes your love for Me.

dark-room-light-through-window-hunched-man1Do not stray from Allah (swt), sunshine. Even in your most pious prayers, even in your most soulful recitations, do not forget Him. For verily man are oft to forget in the most unlikely of occasions, becoming possessed with the perceived knowledge of God, and not possessed by the Lord Himself in His Most Gracious and Most Merciful of His attributes!

This are fine lines drawn in the sand, but my love, it is necessary for He is AllahuHalim, AllahuLatiff (the Lord Most Gentle, the Lord Most Subtle)…

Before II
And beyond My Love and Compassion for everything,
Lo, there was a time beyond time when there was only
My Love and My Compassion for the Light of My Beloved,
The Nur of Muhammad that precedes all of Creation.

beautifulhorizon1Wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way