Tag Archives: questions and answers

THE GHOST & THE GHOSTING

190492_10150135259710665_605025664_6943810_102293_nThe Ghost
I was weary, and needed to rest,
I knocked on a door, but a voice said,
“Hush, hush, go away. Ghosts do not sleep.”

I felt hungry, and came to a family at dinner,
I took the empty chair, but the father said
“Hush, hush, go away. Ghosts do not eat.”

Hurt, hungry and tired, I found you sitting at the beach,
You were looking out to sea, and I started to cry,
You turned and you looked through me, then you said
“Hush, hush, go away. Ghosts do not weep.”
…..

IMG_20131111_205650The Ghosting. Once I was the beloved, the cherished, the heard. I was listened to with love and kindness.

Those days are apparently gone, and though I am still here, writing and crying, I am to you a ghost, a painful shackle to a past best forgotten…

Like an inconvenient ghost living in your attic.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

FAREWELL, WEDDING BELLS

IMG_20170424_193306Farewell, Wedding Bells
I am what I hold in my hand, a broken heart,
I am the memories that shadow my waking sleep,
I am the tears that I cry
Since the night we said farewell
To our dreams of wedding bells
To live a life to an end
That I cannot foretell.
…….

LIFE. All that is born must die. All that is created must have an end, every summer ends with an autumn and every life must inevitably cease. There is little argument on this point.

ENDINGS. What is debatable, and a source of great human drama of joys and sadness, passion and despair is the activity we choose to indulge in between our birth and our pallbearers. And in the consequences of a break-up, the ending of a relationship, boy, it does feel like forever. But I know this is a false forever, a fake eternity concocted up by a fevered heart yearning the gentle touch of a loved one.

GUILT. Nonetheless, in the face of such trials, we have Allah Almighty, we have His Habibullah (sws) and the inner armoury of the soul known as patience, patience and patience. So in truth, there is no competition really – for hope trumps sadness and His divine promise conquers over all our mortal failings. But being human, something in our self-blaming ego is titillated by constantly stirring the pot of our sadness, not to heal the hurt… but to drown our hope, a stillborn.

BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES. I guess guilt plays a big part of my life. But I willingly embrace my malfeasance, because interspaced between the guilty pangs are pearls of memories I cannot nor do I desire to let go off.

Memories of you, sunshine.IMG_20170424_194123

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE ROSE & THE MIRROR

20150804123718_resizedThe Rose & The Mirror
It is not for the rose to declare its beauty,
But to exist and simply be,
In perfect poise before
An admiring mirror.
…..

I cannot say I am beautiful or attractive. Not when I live in my skin and know very well where all my skeletons are hidden. Thus I answered when asked why I was so hesitant in accepting compliments and praise. But the answer then took me to an older reply of an older inquiry. Perhaps one of the oldest question entertained by mankind, and this is it – Why did God create the world? Why am I here? In a famous Sufi lore, God replied, “I was a Hidden Treasure, and I wanted to be known.”

Like a mirror placed before an incomparable and blinding beauty, the natural state of the world of Men and Djinn is prostrating before the Creator – reflecting upon Allah Almighty, to acknowledge, to praise and to worship Him in His immeasurable Glory, Light and infinite Mercy.

In the holy Quran, Allah (swt) expresses Himself unequivocally thus -

“I created the jinn and humankind only that they might worship Me.”
(Quran 51:56, Marmaduke Pickthall)

May we be the mirrors we are meant to be, sunshine, to negate our own ego’s rampant vanity and to complete the divine equation of Love, Beauty and Adoration. To be quite honest here, It is not the easiest algorithm to solve but it is the most enchanting mystery that any student may commit his life and death to uncover!

20151229011502_resizedThe Rose & The Mirror II
A mirror cannot adore a rose
If it persists in thinking
Itself to be the rose.
One must be adored
And the other must be the mirror.
One must be God,
And the other the worshipper.
……

May we always be supported by Allah (swt) and His Beloved Muhammad Sayyidina Mahsusun Bilmajid (sws). For the wandering soul there is no happier or safer way than this path revealed by AllahuFattah (God the Opener, the Revealer).

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE PEN OF GALLANTRY

artflow_201602091201Punctuality & The Pen of Gallantry
Am I too late?
To taste tea in the morning,
To find roses peeping in,
To hear the tiny toes
Of who knows who
Coming down the gravel walk?

Am I too late?
To put fairness before self,
To close my eyes to the whisperer
But gather instead, with the other moths
In a falling orbit
Around the Sun?

Am I too late?
To put manners before passion,
To place goodness before gratification,
To swell the sea of hopeful pearls
Enchanted by the Moon of Mercy?

Am I too late?
To write my book?
To finish my drawings?
To begin and end the story
Of the elephant, the cat
And dear old Mr. Ali?

Heaven knows, as I do not.
The answers to my punctuality
Rests at the Throne of God
In the Antechamber of Mercy
Before Whom prostrates
The Pen of Gallantry
……..

Abang ChikIRONY. we are not good at saying goodbye, are we, sunshine? Not to our office and friends, not to anyone that we love and care for. Take me for instance, today my late brother’s friend remarked on my recent picture on Facebook that from a distance, I kinda look like him (like my late brother, not his friend). This pleases me no end, to be quite honest as I like to be reminded of him. The irony is that when he was still clowning about in the physical realm, Abang Chik used to annoy me to no end with his eccentric but undeniably insightful view of the world.

IMG_20170310_072726THE END. If you follow my rather quiet and uneventful life, you may know that last week, me and my partner handed over the keys of our 13 years old office back to the landlady. It was a deeply melancholic moment for us, having sifted through thousands and thousands of documents of our past decade’s work, smiling, pondering and sometimes laughing at all the memories we made in the office.

THE BEGINNING. Which brings me to the beginning. And to what I shall do now that my legal practice will take a back seat in my daily life. Truth be told, I am still weighing the possibilities but at 47 years old, I am not in a hurry to make a hasty decision. I am looking a the clouds in the sky, I am feeling the tremor of the air that surrounds me, I am listening to the birds singing outside my window, and I am turning my eyes inwards, to the remembrance of God Almighty and His Beloved Muhammad Sayyidina Habibullah (sws), hoping for a hint, a sign.

Pray for me, sunsine. And may Allah bless you always.

donkeywa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

EASE IS EASY. BUT WHAT WILL LOVE DO?

artflow_201612232206Ease & Love
I ask for ease from Love
And Love eases me,
All through my days and nights
Love attends to me devotedly.

Encouraged I then ask
For love from Love…
A divine jealousy,
Worthy of Love’s majesty,
And Love loves me indeed,
Which makes me happy,
But in a state that
Leaves me waiting cautiously…

For ease is easy,
But love? Who knows
What Love might do.

Do you?
……..

Why does the mystics often ask for ‘ease’? Is not a life of sacrifice and tribulation good for the soul? He he he.

Because our personal trials and tests come whether we like it or not. But most importantly, and you can have this engraved in your heart in words of molten fire -

You will be tested for everything that comes out of your mouth
…..

Oh crumbs.

But it’s all good. It’s always good. It’s God after all that plans it all.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

MUSE, MAKER, THE END OF ALL SURMISE

Camera 360My Only Homecoming
I am captivated by Your signs
Bur wonder… how long shall I
Be traveling? To wander this world,
To explore the connections
And signs of You
But to never find You?

I am not claiming that I deserve You
But then You made me and I am Yours,
So is there in truth
Any other homecoming
For me but to You?
………

A few nights ago, I was bemused to hear two simultaneous Azans (call to prayers). One came from my phone with its prayer times app, while the other came ‘live’ from my neighbourhood mosque.

5451_109180257843_543202843_2382546_7545878_nI don’t know why but I was deeply affected by the beauty of the two Azans. They just felt overwhelming, coursing through the air like some cosmic signal being beamed from a divine radio station heaven somewhere beautiful. But then, quite by surprise, a poignant thought came to me…

The End of Surmise
Beautiful songs… But when will I meet the Muse?
Beautiful signs… But when shall I see the Maker?
Beauty, beauty, beauty everywhere
But when will I ever
Meet the End of all my surmise?
………

It was a moment both sweet and sad. I really don’t know how else to explain.

Do you, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE ADAB (COURTESY) OF LOVE – flash of the blinding obvious

artflow_201612111025_resized88. Passion 2
Sobriety and Patience
Is better than Passion,
They become wine to those
Who have passed the state of intoxication.
……..

Thus was recorded in the collection of prose known as The DamSunSunAna some 13 years ago. Last night, poor old dumb me was visited by the same subject, with a sharper lesson -

The Adab of Love
Some use love as a pretext
An excuse for discourtesy,

But is not love the best reason
For good manners and civility?
The reining in of passion
In deference to courtesy?
……..

13 long years, sunshine. And hardly any personal improvement. Although realising the flash of the  blinding obvious is, I guess, some type of progress.

Have a wonderful day, sunshine. I shall spend what is left of mine contemplating the blinding obvious, the Adab of Love and my trail of tears…

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

EVERY TREMOR OF YOUR HEART HE FEELS – of death, love & separation

226330_10150169952279023_4175171_nWhere My Mother Is
I am missing a breath
With every beat of my heart
Since the day you breathed your last,

Since you skipped any more tomorrows
I am living half of my life in the past
And the other half in a sweet sorrow.

Even as people see me living,
I know that I am in truth only dreaming,
And through the window of my soul
I am sadly peering,

To where my mother is,
To where my brother is,
In a beautiful peace.
……….

This is the first observation, and I dare say a sentiment shared by anyone whose loved ones have arrived there in the Hereafter after our short stint in this world. Our departed father or mother, our sister or brother, our  beloved kin or friends, they have all discarded this vessel of clay and water that we presently continue to animate.

And this is the second observation…

1239623_10200377345066459_319749956_nWhole Once Again
The wound is as fresh as the day
Your sweet eyes closed never to open again,

And this separation remains as poignant as
The joyful expectancy to be with you,
When finally, finally… finally…

I am made whole once again.
……...

Along this thread I came across a third observation, and this is it – If we bumbling clowns of humanity can feel such profound sorrow in separation and the bittersweet expectation of a reunion with our dearly departed, how do we reckon God Almighty feels when we are cast into this world through the womb of our mothers?

Even as the Almighty knows the fate of every star, every atom and every living soul?

For I do believe Allah feels. And as His Prophet Muhammad (sws) is known as Sayyidina Harisun Alaykum (sws) – ‘He Who Is Anxious Over You’, do we think his Lord Almighty is unfeeling? Uncaring?

26062011446-2So have faith in Allah’s plan, my love, and in the temporary absence of our dearly departed. For every tremor of your heart, every sigh of separation, every tear that escapes your eyes He feels. In a manner and nearness that you can barely fathom…

Believe me!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

GOD IS LISTENING ALREADY

sedih 2Listening Already
I hurt…
I need to talk to someone…
I am lost
I need to talk to someone…
I have been betrayed
I need to talk to someone…

Funny how often when I say that
I mean it to be another human being,
When God is already here,
When God is already so near.
Waiting patiently, listening already…
………..

We have a million and one ways to forget God. In all our actions, large and small, from the greatest operatic display to the smallest gestures and daily sighs, we often forget Him – our God, the one Most Patient, Most Loving and Most Merciful.

ocean heart 2Often too it is not that we intentionally wish to ignore Him. Rather we have allowed ourselves to be distracted by this world and its inhabitants, including our own selves. We make this error because we forget the closest and straightest connection to God, and that is a person called Sayyidina Siratullah (The Path of God) (sws) and Sayyidina Siratul Mustakim (The Straight Path) (sws). But best known as Sayyidina Muhammad Rasulullah (the Messenger of God) (sws). He is also known as Sayyidina Wasulun (The Connection) (sws). These names for the Beloved Prophet (sws) are not mere trinkets of history but real and present miracles of his Divine mission vouched safe by Allah Almighty.

Thus, walk on the Prophet Muhammad’s (sws) path and you will be walking on the Path of God and the Straightest Path of enlightenment, safety and sublime bliss.

Walk along the ways of the Prophet Muhammad’s (sws) family, Companions and Inheritors and you are upon a connection to Allah’s (swt) Divine Presence, the Sanctum of Perfect Love and Bliss. The Yearned Homecoming. The Kingdom of Truth in the Glory of His Majesty.

ffsfsCome on then, you lead the way, sunshine. And I, Notrumi, your humble scribe will follow close behind.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

…AND ASK ME FOR ME

dark-room-light-through-window-hunched-man1Love is Good at Loving
For the longest time, I was content
To ask love for things to love,
And love satisfied my cravings,
Showering me with such things
To enamour and delight me.

For love is good at loving, you see.

Until one day, love asked me,
“Why are you happy with
Cheap baubles and trinkets
Of worldly things?
When I am here,
Dearer beyond imagining,
Closer to you than
Your own breathing.

You seek happiness in this world,
But worldly promises are held
In a cup most fragile,
You seek caring companionship
But your friendships are adrift
In a sea most wild.

Before you I am here in my perfection.
I am the eternal sea of mercy,
I am the balm of sincerity,
I am the measure of beauty,
To be praised there is none more worthy,
And I have made myself befitting
To be loved and adored beyond reckoning.

But again and again, you asked for things,
This, that and the other
But never me… never me.

Wake up, cast aside the veil,

Then ask love for love,

And ask me for me.”
………

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way