Tag Archives: prayers

Tahajjud, The Twilight Conference of Lovers

20170204_071656In The Conference of Lovers
If we keep calm,
if we keep quite still,
We can feel an ocean
Lapping the shore of our spirit,
In the moonlit hours while others sleep,
We are awake, listening and weeping,
Allah, Allah, Allah the surf whispers
Allah, Allah, Allah the ripple speaks
Allah, Allah, Allah the ocean mutters
Like nightingales serenading our heart
The ripple, the surf and the tide sings
Ya Ahad, ya Samad, Salli ala Muhammad,
Ya Ahad, ya Samad, Salli ala Muhammad,

Intently We listen until we realise,
That the words are manifest
Not from some place of the North
Or the South or the East or the West
But resonating from within our own heart
Ringing like the muezzin cry for prayer
Assuring the uncertain
Consoling the heartbroken
Giving strength to both kings and courtiers,
To the peasants, the farmers and traders alike,
Giving solace to the poorest wretch in the gutter,

Declaring that God and His Prophet is here,
Closer to us than our jugular,
Thus in the darkest part of the night
The Lord of the Nightingales hosts His guests
In the Twilight Conference of Lovers we gather
To worship, to adore in His Light upon Light.
…………

Is there anything more to be said for now, my love? May Allah love us and awaken us from our weary slumber to His calling tonight and every night hereafter. We hold unto the Prophet Muhammad the Light, the Lamp and the Lantern (pbuh), to shine His light upon light into our darkening skies.

Madad ya Sayyidina Nur (the Light)
Madad ya Sayyidina Siraj (the Lamp)
Madad ya Sayyidina Misbah (the Lantern)
(Peace be Upon Him)

And if someone asks thee – o’ Saliqa, o’ seeker! Where do you find nourishment? Tell them that every night you attend to His audience, prostrated as a lovelorn servant, in the Conference of Lovers, in the Tahajjud nightly prayers.

20160809_071418wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

YA LATIF, the One Subtle, Gracious, Refined

dreams wacomal-Latīf
I am unwell, Love
Afflicted in body and spirit,
Wearied night and day,
Fevered head to feet,
But Your name, Your Name…
I still say… and I still weep.

Oh Most Subtle,
Heal my body gently,
Oh Most Gracious,
Cure my sickness for riches,
Oh Most Refined,
Be tender, and to me
Be not unkind.
…..

26062011446-2Luxury and indulgence are poor masters, while adversity and tribulations make the best teachers. Since last night, poor old Notrumi has been afflicted with sickness, but I kept up, as best as I can, my prayers and contemplation.

It was this morning, as I was completing our supererogatory devotions for the holy month of Rajab, that I muttered quietly, “ya Latif, ya Latif, ya Latif…” one of the holy names of God meaning the One Subtle, Gracious and Refined. The meaning of His name enveloped me in my tiredness, made me both happy and sad, and hopeful – Oh Latif, how this sickly servant is in desperate need of Your tenderness, Your grace and kindness. Oh Latif, do You not see this poor servant calling You? And at the end of each cycle of recitation (if we remember to), we would dedicate our poor stumbling devotion for His Beloved Habibullah Sayyidina Muhammad (sws),

It is only the 13th night of Rajab, so there are many more ‘ya Latif’ to say in honour of this blessed month. Strange that a sickness brought a poignant insight into this beautiful name of our Beloved God. Funny how things turn out better, don’t they, my pet?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE FANGS OF THE ANTICHRIST ARE SHOWING

4877_79071_web_8columnEulogy for Peace
The west has fallen,
The east is falling,
The south has been eaten,
The north is melting,

Wisdom is hidden,
Books are celebrated,
Leaders are elected,
Truth is discarded,

The fangs of the Antichrist are showing
Because he is smiling.
…..

Slide6Close the door, sunshine. Keep to yourself, your close friends and kin. Stay away from crowds and rabble rousers. The tail is wagging the dog, and wisdom in the public space is practically gone.

The world is a bridge, cross it fast and do not try to mend it. There is great wisdom in the sayings of Sayyidina Isa Ruhul Quds (as), especially when the Antichrist is busy torching the bally bridge down. The days of long nights are upon us. Keep to your prayers, and keep the lantern of your faith for Allah Almighty bright with the brand of Nabi Muhammad Sayyidina Siraj (sws).

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

GOD IS LISTENING ALREADY

sedih 2Listening Already
I hurt…
I need to talk to someone…
I am lost
I need to talk to someone…
I have been betrayed
I need to talk to someone…

Funny how often when I say that
I mean it to be another human being,
When God is already here,
When God is already so near.
Waiting patiently, listening already…
………..

We have a million and one ways to forget God. In all our actions, large and small, from the greatest operatic display to the smallest gestures and daily sighs, we often forget Him – our God, the one Most Patient, Most Loving and Most Merciful.

ocean heart 2Often too it is not that we intentionally wish to ignore Him. Rather we have allowed ourselves to be distracted by this world and its inhabitants, including our own selves. We make this error because we forget the closest and straightest connection to God, and that is a person called Sayyidina Siratullah (The Path of God) (sws) and Sayyidina Siratul Mustakim (The Straight Path) (sws). But best known as Sayyidina Muhammad Rasulullah (the Messenger of God) (sws). He is also known as Sayyidina Wasulun (The Connection) (sws). These names for the Beloved Prophet (sws) are not mere trinkets of history but real and present miracles of his Divine mission vouched safe by Allah Almighty.

Thus, walk on the Prophet Muhammad’s (sws) path and you will be walking on the Path of God and the Straightest Path of enlightenment, safety and sublime bliss.

Walk along the ways of the Prophet Muhammad’s (sws) family, Companions and Inheritors and you are upon a connection to Allah’s (swt) Divine Presence, the Sanctum of Perfect Love and Bliss. The Yearned Homecoming. The Kingdom of Truth in the Glory of His Majesty.

ffsfsCome on then, you lead the way, sunshine. And I, Notrumi, your humble scribe will follow close behind.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

SELFISH LOVE

Shaykh Wacom 2Selfish Love
Selfish love is not love,
For love abhors anything other than love.
………..

This is the beginning, the journey and the end. This is where we leave our selfishness behind. A selfishness often disguised as ‘love’. This is where we embark on the ship of love, to cross the sea of love to our homecoming at the harbour of selfless love.

Pray for me, sunshine. Lend a hand to this weary traveller and perhaps we can keep company together. For what better way is there to walk to love than with love as my companion?

P.S. Shaykh Adnan Kabbani is a Lebanese shaykh much admired and loved. It appears that he is unwell. Please keep him in your prayers and your heart. dark-room-light-through-window-hunched-man1

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

GOD, GOODNESS & FAMILIARITY…

rain-girlGod & Goodness
Our taste for God and goodness needs adjustments,
To develop our nose and divine discernments -

To distinguish between what is to be encouraged,
What is to be questioned and what is to be warned against,
What is to be admonished and what is to be avoided,
And lastly, what is to be confronted and challenged!
………..

A SEA OF MERCIFUL MEANINGS. Not that long ago, an epiphany hit me like a truck out of control. And that is whatever I may be doing and reciting in my sembahyang / solaT (prayers), I have the barest idea of their meanings –  All that recitations and the postures that make up our prayers. What I know of its meaning and significance is the merest wisp of an understanding… So now, I realise that when I contemplate my prayersIt is like skimming on the surface of a sea of merciful meanings unfathomable in its depth and secrets.

20150804123718_resizedNO TIME TO REST. And I was happy to be at that place – that place of unknowing, humbled by my utter lack of knowledge. But today I am jolted out of that complacency of a humility that is perhaps too convenient and lethargic. For an ancient friend advised me not to be contented being a fool, and to learn what can be learnt and what Allah al-Alim (God the All-knowing) has allotted since pre time for us to learn. By acquiring a taste for God and His goodness, we hone and develop a sharp sense of discernment which will in contradistinction develop our sense of what is the opposite of God and goodness – ergo our ego, its wickedness, hate and hubris, pride, greed, envy, selfishness and indolence. That way (says my friend), what bad you once tolerated of yourself, you will learn to avoid as you gain the taste for the perfume of God and goodness. As you grow in familiarity with Allah (swt) and with His most precious gift to all creation, Nabi Muhammad Sayyidina Hadiyatullah (the Gift of Allah) (sws) you ought to now become repulsed by the wicked odour of Satan our enemy, the overpowering smell of our own egotism and the ambivalent scent of this worldliness…

Familiarity
The ones familiar with the garden of love and its perfume
Will abhor and avoid the devil’s dumping yard
Of man’s egotism, greed and selfish love.
……….

Do you not agree, sunshine? Of course you do!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

…AND ASK ME FOR ME

dark-room-light-through-window-hunched-man1Love is Good at Loving
For the longest time, I was content
To ask love for things to love,
And love satisfied my cravings,
Showering me with such things
To enamour and delight me.

For love is good at loving, you see.

Until one day, love asked me,
“Why are you happy with
Cheap baubles and trinkets
Of worldly things?
When I am here,
Dearer beyond imagining,
Closer to you than
Your own breathing.

You seek happiness in this world,
But worldly promises are held
In a cup most fragile,
You seek caring companionship
But your friendships are adrift
In a sea most wild.

Before you I am here in my perfection.
I am the eternal sea of mercy,
I am the balm of sincerity,
I am the measure of beauty,
To be praised there is none more worthy,
And I have made myself befitting
To be loved and adored beyond reckoning.

But again and again, you asked for things,
This, that and the other
But never me… never me.

Wake up, cast aside the veil,

Then ask love for love,

And ask me for me.”
………

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

SERENITY …and the true measure of God’s generosity

IMG_20161012_233611Serenity
My Lord, I have seen too many things
That I wish to un-see and forget,

So let the last sight I behold
Be Your Beloved in all his serenity,

For surely such a blessing will wash away
All the bad and its memory,
All the mad and its ugly,

And leave me in sweet anticipation
For Your Beloved in Your mercy ocean.
………

WE ARE IN NEED. My love, I am weary. My beautiful sunshine, I am not myself. I want to rid myself of this hurt and hatefulness, of this stifling hubris that is taunting me like a spirit caged. I have seen too many bad things, you see, and I need to wash my eyes.

SO LET’S NOT BE SHY, And surely it is not time to be reticent in our desire for the Prophet Muhammad (sws)! Not when Allah (swt) has blessed us with Nabi Muhammad Sayyidina Nabiyyur Rahma (sws), the Prophet of Mercy to all of Creation in its unfathomable entirety.

The Generous One
The Generosity of Allah
Is not counted by the gold, silver and gems
In the earth, nor the trees and valleys,
The meadows and the surrounding hills.

The Generosity of Allah
Is not counted by the numberless stars in the night sky,
Nor in the schools of fishes swimming in the sea,

The Generosity of Allah
Is not counted by the health you enjoy,
The wealth that surrounds you,
Nor by your spouse and children.

The Generosity of Allah
Is counted and most exalted
Because He desires to share Muhammad,
His Own Beloved, with you and all nations.
………..

largeSo stay awhile and close your eyes, my love. Open your heart and help me ask God Almighty for this gift – to see our most caring Nabi Muhammad Sayyidina Hafiy (sws), the loving and welcoming prophet of the End of Days!

Which is fitting since is there really any better way to end our own days?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

TURNING TO GOD… (while stuck in a train between two stations)

226330_10150169952279023_4175171_nTURN TO GOD
It is the hardest thing
To see someone talk to his mum
To kiss and hug her,
To show respect and obedience
Knowing that i cannot.
Thus, I turn to God
Thus, I turn to God
I turn to God…
……

Abang ChikStuck in a train between stations. When will you realise God is real, o’ Notrumi? Perhaps, now? Now that you are torn between the souls of your dearly departed kin and friends and the life you still live? Every day, my horizon stretches across this world and the hereafter, between my living father, brother and son, to the souls of my dearly departed mother and my brother. Who is comfortable sitting here in this cosmic train? Stuck between two stations – between happiness and sadness, between sweet solace and a profound yearning? Who will keep me company in this lonely train carriage that is my conscience?

Remembrance of God as Your companion. It has to be God I guess. Separate as He is from all of His creation yet closer to us than our jugular vein (Quran 50:16) …Hidden but more apparent than the Sun, some mystics say. Easily His Presence and Vision transcends life and death, heaven and earth, between the living and the residents of the cemetery.

IMG-20130915-WA0006(1)-3Allah (swt) is there, sunshine, at your side, through your hours of tearful remembrance, through the lonely nights when you sit in your room, unmasked of the disguise you wear for people during the day. You need only say His name -

Allah… Allah… Allah… I turn to You. Hear the sorrowful words of Your servant… Allah… Allah… Allah… You made me, so You must know me best of all. Nothing is hidden from Your sight, thus you can see the bleeding wound in my heart for the compassion of my mother, for the empathy of my brother – so help me heal, my Love, help me understand, my Lord.”

We prostrate our akal (mind), our heart and our memories before you o’ Malikul Quddus (o’ Most High King Most Pure) in the name of Your Mercy to all the Worlds, Sayyidina Muhammad Miftahur Rahman (Key to Mercy) Miftahul Jannah (Key to the Garden) Abu Arwah (the Father of Souls) (saws). We come to You, o’ God. Seeking Your attention and intimacies through the one You and Your angels love and praise best in the heavenly presence.

20151229011502_resizedwa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

ASTAGHFIRULLAH, THE FRUIT FROM HEAVEN

Beautiful-forest-natures-seasons-17593939-1024-768Astaghfirullah is a common expression oft repeated daily by Muslims, often in the hundreds and not uncommonly in their thousands. If you were to google (and come on, who doesn’t?) its meaning, you may find these common translations: “I seek forgiveness from Allah“, or “I seek (the) forgiveness of Allah“, or “God, forgive me…” But our betters have unearthed from their toil more meaning of the phrase. Like a fruit of heaven that gives a different aroma and taste every time you consume it, the meaning of astaghfirullah is subtle and nuanced and many, many layers deep.  These are just some manifestations -

Astaghfirullah, the Fruit from Heaven
Astaghfirullah is the change of cloth after your attire is stained
And torn, not befitting who you truly are.
Astaghfirullah is the compass in your hand, the iron conceived in a star.
Astaghfirullah is the congregation who abide by you
No matter how lowly you secretly are.
Astaghfirullah is the God-given familiarity with sin that you have earned.
Astaghfirullah is the camel that finds you
Alone and lost, friendless and thirsty.
Astaghfirullah is each step that the camel takes, bearing you to safety.
Astaghfirullah is the task God sets you to,
From selfish piety to Godly charity.
Astaghfirullah is the cleansing Fountain of Kawthar
That purifies your action and omission.
Astaghfirullah is to learn of good and evil,
And to taste the difference.
Astaghfirullah is to see kindness in illness,
And goodness in every moment.
Astaghfirullah is to bear the burden of living,
The pain of separation.
Astaghfirullah is to learn what needs to be learned.
Astaghfirullah is to forget what needs to be forgotten.
Astaghfirullah is to be pleased with Him
And to love Him unconditionally.
Astaghfirullah is to believe in His promises and His vows.
Astaghfirullah is to adore He Who is always present,
But Who is apparently absent.

Astaghfirullah is to have a little cry,
A quiet lonely sigh.
Till He breaks the silence
And asks;

“Oh my servant, why…?”
………….

26062011446 2And finally, my love, what is astaghfirullah, but our turning to God Almighty and seeking His forgiveness for our utter inability to recount the many, infinite aspects of astaghfirullah in all its wondrous glory, beauty and mercy?

We are weak and helpless, sunshine. And thus we seek His inspiration and guidance, through our blessed Prophet Muhammad (saws) to give us the means to learn and be thankful for the countless manifestations of His Love, of which astagfirullah is but one.

wa min Allah at-taufiq.

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way