Tag Archives: meanings

HOLD MY HAND, EMBUN

yangtze-river-cruises-tours-06_leadingThe Ghost & Embun
I am weary, Embun
Carry me,
I am tired, Embun
Bear me away,
I am fading, Embun,
Close my eyes,
Take my pen,
Hold my hand,
For today or tomorrow
Or who knows when
I will be gone.

And when I am not here anymore,
Think well of me, Embun
And remember me before you
Close the door to all our foolish dreams,
That I resonated your name in my heart,
And sought to call you to Him
In an unbroken hymn,
Like a river of tears
Passing through the night
That alas, you did not hear.
…..

wa min Allah at taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE GHOST & THE GHOSTING

190492_10150135259710665_605025664_6943810_102293_nThe Ghost
I was weary, and needed to rest,
I knocked on a door, but a voice said,
“Hush, hush, go away. Ghosts do not sleep.”

I felt hungry, and came to a family at dinner,
I took the empty chair, but the father said
“Hush, hush, go away. Ghosts do not eat.”

Hurt, hungry and tired, I found you sitting at the beach,
You were looking out to sea, and I started to cry,
You turned and you looked through me, then you said
“Hush, hush, go away. Ghosts do not weep.”
…..

IMG_20131111_205650The Ghosting. Once I was the beloved, the cherished, the heard. I was listened to with love and kindness.

Those days are apparently gone, and though I am still here, writing and crying, I am to you a ghost, a painful shackle to a past best forgotten…

Like an inconvenient ghost living in your attic.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE FRIEND ZONE

4877_79071_web_8columnSome break-ups fall easily into the friend zone. But some stubbornly refuses to be so sensible. This is a prose about one such impolitic separation, burning away the savannah of my solace like a bushfire, soaking up the oxygen from the very air that I need to breathe and move on.

Friend Zone
You will never be my former,
You will never be my yesterday,
Your name cannot be paired with was,
 Done, did, had, has, or in any way
Referred to in the past tense,
You are not cast for The End,
And lest you fail to understand…
Let my pen be clear that
You will never (ever)
be just a friend.
…..

Happy birthday, sunshine, always and forever. May you find solace through the Prophet (sws) of AllahuRa’uf, our God The Kind, God The Tenderly Merciful and Consoling. 
large

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE ROSE & THE MIRROR

20150804123718_resizedThe Rose & The Mirror
It is not for the rose to declare its beauty,
But to exist and simply be,
In perfect poise before
An admiring mirror.
…..

I cannot say I am beautiful or attractive. Not when I live in my skin and know very well where all my skeletons are hidden. Thus I answered when asked why I was so hesitant in accepting compliments and praise. But the answer then took me to an older reply of an older inquiry. Perhaps one of the oldest question entertained by mankind, and this is it – Why did God create the world? Why am I here? In a famous Sufi lore, God replied, “I was a Hidden Treasure, and I wanted to be known.”

Like a mirror placed before an incomparable and blinding beauty, the natural state of the world of Men and Djinn is prostrating before the Creator – reflecting upon Allah Almighty, to acknowledge, to praise and to worship Him in His immeasurable Glory, Light and infinite Mercy.

In the holy Quran, Allah (swt) expresses Himself unequivocally thus -

“I created the jinn and humankind only that they might worship Me.”
(Quran 51:56, Marmaduke Pickthall)

May we be the mirrors we are meant to be, sunshine, to negate our own ego’s rampant vanity and to complete the divine equation of Love, Beauty and Adoration. To be quite honest here, It is not the easiest algorithm to solve but it is the most enchanting mystery that any student may commit his life and death to uncover!

20151229011502_resizedThe Rose & The Mirror II
A mirror cannot adore a rose
If it persists in thinking
Itself to be the rose.
One must be adored
And the other must be the mirror.
One must be God,
And the other the worshipper.
……

May we always be supported by Allah (swt) and His Beloved Muhammad Sayyidina Mahsusun Bilmajid (sws). For the wandering soul there is no happier or safer way than this path revealed by AllahuFattah (God the Opener, the Revealer).

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE PEN OF GALLANTRY

artflow_201602091201Punctuality & The Pen of Gallantry
Am I too late?
To taste tea in the morning,
To find roses peeping in,
To hear the tiny toes
Of who knows who
Coming down the gravel walk?

Am I too late?
To put fairness before self,
To close my eyes to the whisperer
But gather instead, with the other moths
In a falling orbit
Around the Sun?

Am I too late?
To put manners before passion,
To place goodness before gratification,
To swell the sea of hopeful pearls
Enchanted by the Moon of Mercy?

Am I too late?
To write my book?
To finish my drawings?
To begin and end the story
Of the elephant, the cat
And dear old Mr. Ali?

Heaven knows, as I do not.
The answers to my punctuality
Rests at the Throne of God
In the Antechamber of Mercy
Before Whom prostrates
The Pen of Gallantry
……..

Abang ChikIRONY. we are not good at saying goodbye, are we, sunshine? Not to our office and friends, not to anyone that we love and care for. Take me for instance, today my late brother’s friend remarked on my recent picture on Facebook that from a distance, I kinda look like him (like my late brother, not his friend). This pleases me no end, to be quite honest as I like to be reminded of him. The irony is that when he was still clowning about in the physical realm, Abang Chik used to annoy me to no end with his eccentric but undeniably insightful view of the world.

IMG_20170310_072726THE END. If you follow my rather quiet and uneventful life, you may know that last week, me and my partner handed over the keys of our 13 years old office back to the landlady. It was a deeply melancholic moment for us, having sifted through thousands and thousands of documents of our past decade’s work, smiling, pondering and sometimes laughing at all the memories we made in the office.

THE BEGINNING. Which brings me to the beginning. And to what I shall do now that my legal practice will take a back seat in my daily life. Truth be told, I am still weighing the possibilities but at 47 years old, I am not in a hurry to make a hasty decision. I am looking a the clouds in the sky, I am feeling the tremor of the air that surrounds me, I am listening to the birds singing outside my window, and I am turning my eyes inwards, to the remembrance of God Almighty and His Beloved Muhammad Sayyidina Habibullah (sws), hoping for a hint, a sign.

Pray for me, sunsine. And may Allah bless you always.

donkeywa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

YA LATIF, the One Subtle, Gracious, Refined

dreams wacomal-Latīf
I am unwell, Love
Afflicted in body and spirit,
Wearied night and day,
Fevered head to feet,
But Your name, Your Name…
I still say… and I still weep.

Oh Most Subtle,
Heal my body gently,
Oh Most Gracious,
Cure my sickness for riches,
Oh Most Refined,
Be tender, and to me
Be not unkind.
…..

26062011446-2Luxury and indulgence are poor masters, while adversity and tribulations make the best teachers. Since last night, poor old Notrumi has been afflicted with sickness, but I kept up, as best as I can, my prayers and contemplation.

It was this morning, as I was completing our supererogatory devotions for the holy month of Rajab, that I muttered quietly, “ya Latif, ya Latif, ya Latif…” one of the holy names of God meaning the One Subtle, Gracious and Refined. The meaning of His name enveloped me in my tiredness, made me both happy and sad, and hopeful – Oh Latif, how this sickly servant is in desperate need of Your tenderness, Your grace and kindness. Oh Latif, do You not see this poor servant calling You? And at the end of each cycle of recitation (if we remember to), we would dedicate our poor stumbling devotion for His Beloved Habibullah Sayyidina Muhammad (sws),

It is only the 13th night of Rajab, so there are many more ‘ya Latif’ to say in honour of this blessed month. Strange that a sickness brought a poignant insight into this beautiful name of our Beloved God. Funny how things turn out better, don’t they, my pet?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

MUSE, MAKER, THE END OF ALL SURMISE

Camera 360My Only Homecoming
I am captivated by Your signs
Bur wonder… how long shall I
Be traveling? To wander this world,
To explore the connections
And signs of You
But to never find You?

I am not claiming that I deserve You
But then You made me and I am Yours,
So is there in truth
Any other homecoming
For me but to You?
………

A few nights ago, I was bemused to hear two simultaneous Azans (call to prayers). One came from my phone with its prayer times app, while the other came ‘live’ from my neighbourhood mosque.

5451_109180257843_543202843_2382546_7545878_nI don’t know why but I was deeply affected by the beauty of the two Azans. They just felt overwhelming, coursing through the air like some cosmic signal being beamed from a divine radio station heaven somewhere beautiful. But then, quite by surprise, a poignant thought came to me…

The End of Surmise
Beautiful songs… But when will I meet the Muse?
Beautiful signs… But when shall I see the Maker?
Beauty, beauty, beauty everywhere
But when will I ever
Meet the End of all my surmise?
………

It was a moment both sweet and sad. I really don’t know how else to explain.

Do you, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE ADAB (COURTESY) OF LOVE – flash of the blinding obvious

artflow_201612111025_resized88. Passion 2
Sobriety and Patience
Is better than Passion,
They become wine to those
Who have passed the state of intoxication.
……..

Thus was recorded in the collection of prose known as The DamSunSunAna some 13 years ago. Last night, poor old dumb me was visited by the same subject, with a sharper lesson -

The Adab of Love
Some use love as a pretext
An excuse for discourtesy,

But is not love the best reason
For good manners and civility?
The reining in of passion
In deference to courtesy?
……..

13 long years, sunshine. And hardly any personal improvement. Although realising the flash of the  blinding obvious is, I guess, some type of progress.

Have a wonderful day, sunshine. I shall spend what is left of mine contemplating the blinding obvious, the Adab of Love and my trail of tears…

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE DISTRACTION OF DISTANCE, THE ILLUSION OF NEARNESS

The Distraction of Distance
I am tryingSlide1
Dear God,
I am.

I am closer
I know.
But I am hindered,
Dear God,
I am.

I am hindered
By my knowing
I am near.

I am distracted, I am,
By the distraction
Of distance.
I am deceived, I am,
By the illusion
Of nearness
……

Don’t be deceived. Be cautious, pet. Space and time, that place where distance matters is a construct for our material ego-world. Do not be attached to such measure of closeness. For Allah, there is only one measure worthwhile for all humanity to understand and strive towards – to Him, to God through goodness…

O mankind! Lo! We have created you male and female, and have made you nations and tribes that ye may know one another. Lo! the noblest of you, in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct. Lo! Allah is Knower, Aware. (Holy Quran, 49:13 -Marmaduke Pickthall)

All other yardsticks, such as pious knowledge or material prosperity, are double-edged swords that bites both ways if the beneficiary of such blessings is not careful. For you see, if the devil is the dog at the door of the Lord, testing the worth of any one who presumes to approach the Divine Presence, the louder is his bark the closer that you get.  Guard dog4

Thus, prudence is the name of the game, sunshine. As my lovely law lecturer, Sheila Tilley used to interject to the bemused delight of her class – softly, softly, catchy monkey.

He he he.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE TWO ARROWS – The Servant & The Lord

IMG_20170120_101006_resizedTHE TWO ARROWS
Two arrows fly from the servant,
But only one can fit the spot,
Which arrow will represent the rebellion?
Which arrow will represent the Lord?
……….

IMG_20170112_124539_resizedAL-QAHHAR. It does not matter, you know. However stubborn our ego, however beguiling the whispers of the enemy, however well we plan our rebellion against His dictate, we simply cannot win against Allah Almighty. Just like the two arrows vying for the bullseye, only one can win the honour, and the other must, naturally, perish, annihilated utterly in the uncompromising unveiling of God in His Attribute and Divine Name of al Qahhar, the Conqueror, the Ever-Dominant.

But human nature is prone to such foolishness, and often we embark on this most futile of quests – to disobey His law, to ignore the admonishments and warnings from His prophets and saints. To what end but to guarantee our own hardship, suffering, frustration and sorrow.

May we avert our gaze from pursuing such mindless course of self-destruction. Rather, may we be guided and reassured by the Lamp of God, Nabi Muhammad Sayyidina Siraj (sws) to be mindful of His Eternal Kingdom, and approach the Divine Presence like the flight of an arrow, flying from the bow of patience and servanthood.IMG_20170311_110843_resized

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way