Tag Archives: health

YA LATIF, the One Subtle, Gracious, Refined

dreams wacomal-Latīf
I am unwell, Love
Afflicted in body and spirit,
Wearied night and day,
Fevered head to feet,
But Your name, Your Name…
I still say… and I still weep.

Oh Most Subtle,
Heal my body gently,
Oh Most Gracious,
Cure my sickness for riches,
Oh Most Refined,
Be tender, and to me
Be not unkind.
…..

26062011446-2Luxury and indulgence are poor masters, while adversity and tribulations make the best teachers. Since last night, poor old Notrumi has been afflicted with sickness, but I kept up, as best as I can, my prayers and contemplation.

It was this morning, as I was completing our supererogatory devotions for the holy month of Rajab, that I muttered quietly, “ya Latif, ya Latif, ya Latif…” one of the holy names of God meaning the One Subtle, Gracious and Refined. The meaning of His name enveloped me in my tiredness, made me both happy and sad, and hopeful – Oh Latif, how this sickly servant is in desperate need of Your tenderness, Your grace and kindness. Oh Latif, do You not see this poor servant calling You? And at the end of each cycle of recitation (if we remember to), we would dedicate our poor stumbling devotion for His Beloved Habibullah Sayyidina Muhammad (sws),

It is only the 13th night of Rajab, so there are many more ‘ya Latif’ to say in honour of this blessed month. Strange that a sickness brought a poignant insight into this beautiful name of our Beloved God. Funny how things turn out better, don’t they, my pet?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

THE WAY OF DREAMS

dreams wacomThe Way of Dreams
Dreams is not the place for
You to relax your vigilance,
Dreams is not the place where
There is no right or wrong.

So learn to wake up in your dreams
And be conscious of your actions
Lest your nightly carelessness
Follows you into daybreak
And wakefulness.
……….

Hullo, sunshine. Notrumi has been unwell of late. It is something in the air and the wet tropical season that is causing clinics to be full of running noses and rising temperatures.

May the words and our own sickness give us greater motivation for vigilance against an enemy that is ceaseless in his enmity for the children of Adam, day or night. May we be guided from hubris, ignorance and discourtesies, awake or in our dreams.

And Now A Question – Is the prose talking about what we normally call wakefulness and sleep, or is the prose an analogy, this world being our dream state, and death our abrupt wakefulness to the truthful reality? But you know what, sunshine? I really cannot make up my mind…

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

SELFISH LOVE

Shaykh Wacom 2Selfish Love
Selfish love is not love,
For love abhors anything other than love.
………..

This is the beginning, the journey and the end. This is where we leave our selfishness behind. A selfishness often disguised as ‘love’. This is where we embark on the ship of love, to cross the sea of love to our homecoming at the harbour of selfless love.

Pray for me, sunshine. Lend a hand to this weary traveller and perhaps we can keep company together. For what better way is there to walk to love than with love as my companion?

P.S. Shaykh Adnan Kabbani is a Lebanese shaykh much admired and loved. It appears that he is unwell. Please keep him in your prayers and your heart. dark-room-light-through-window-hunched-man1

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

DRAMA! – the ego, me, my smoking and odontophobia… Oh, and something about repeatedly falling off a high horse.

800px-r-staines-malvolio-shakespeare-twelfth-nightDramatic!
My soul is a poem
Staged as a drama,
Where I play the roles of the damsel,
The hero and villain…
……

I can do with less drama in my life. The less the better. But my ego will not let me. He insists on me being the hero when things become heroic, and the misunderstood villain when things become mischievous! Oh woe!

I am quitting smoking (last nicotine laced smoke to grace my lungs was in end January 2015), and I have become a most-loyal customer of our friendly neighbourhood dentist (overcoming my yellow-bellied fear of the dentist chair), seeing him 4 times over the past 3 months. So my ego (and me) would like to take credit for that. That and the woebegone ‘damsel’ that is my conscience, forever at the mercy of her capricious bipolar host.

A high horse. But when I ponder over the circumstances of my two ‘conversions’, much like Paul on the road to Damascus, with all humility, I think I just fell off my high horse. I just ended my procrastination and endless (and I mean ENDLESS) rationalising over my smoking habit and my odontophobia (fear of dentists) and simply just did it (like Nike said I should) – I stumbled off the horse, quit the cancer stick and made that dental appointment.

But the how, when and why I found the courage to do either? Truly, only God knows.

Oh, and one more thing. About that high horse I was on. It must have been a very, very, very  high horse indeed. Because, gosh, I am still falling…. or… am just I hitting the ground and  inevitably climbing back up on my high horse – only to fall again? And again. And again. Oh no.

Pray for me, sunshine. This ride ain’t over yet!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

HATE HAS NO PLACE IN ISLAM
LOVE WILL SHOW THE WAY

Conscience is a Muscle

20150326_072745_resizedConscience is a Muscle
Do not let your conscience waste away,
For like your organs and muscles,
It needs constant exercise.
………..

Smoke Free. Yesterday I visited the doctor (I have a phlegmatic cough and flu), and she asked me, “Do you smoke?” And for the first time in 2 decades, I replied in the negative. It felt real good being able to say that, coming into my 4th month smoke free.

20150328_084624_resizedAmbling. As part of my new health regiment, I am also doing a lot of ambling. It is like walking, but with little sense of purpose, almost uncaring where the journey will end. Dog-walkers and my elderly neighbours regularly overtake this ambler with ease. Initially, I was a little disturbed, but really, as I looked at their receding backs, who cares? Godspeed to them, I say. He he he.

Thank God for Pain. As a result of my diabetes, I have been feeling numb at my feet for years. So I am also taking some medication to reconstitute my nerve endings. It’s funny isn’t it? People normally run away from pain. But here I am, trying to feel pain again. So now as I lie in bed trying to sleep, pain does come. I can feel it coursing through the blood vessel of my feet, popping and trembling, as if being massaged by some unseen hands. So thank God for pain!

Threadmill. Which leads me (in my normal runabout way) back to my conscience. Because, like my physical body, I am afraid I have failed to diligently exercise my conscience, that spiritual compass that God has implanted in the core of all of us. So you may see me ambling in my neighbourhood, but morally speaking I am on a treadmill of my conscience, and I fear I am losing my breath, losing my mind, staggering like a drunkard at the cusp of collapsing. Pray for me.

20150512_065734_resizedMad Assurance. I cannot tell you how strange it feels not to smoke. Not to have a roll of burning leaf in my hand. For almost 20 years I have been cultivating a habit which to its last day earlier this year, meant that I puffed almost 4 boxes daily. Really, the only time I didn’t smoke was when I was asleep. I guess I was mad, but that madness filed my waking hours and like it or not, I found the nicotine sticks reassuring. Now that they are gone, what am I?…

Chemical Crutches
What am I now without my chemical crutches?
Am I spiritual? Or do I cling to some vain piety
That mortal men often clutches?

Nothing? I read once that you are what you habitually hold in your hand. So when I was smoking, I used to think I was, literally, a cigarette. But now, what am I holding? Nothing? No, not nothing unfortunately… For in my hand, though you may not see it, I hold a short temper, desire, jealousy, envy, bitterness and grudges. Alas, I am not Rumi. Far from it, I guess. But I do get to spend more time with my son, just walking and taking in our neighbourhood. One day at a time, one step at a time. Alhamdulillah

20150322_152524_resizedwa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way