Monthly Archives: July 2015

MY SECRET, ONLY YOU

IMG_20150731_101647_resizedMy Secret, Only You
My best deeds are secret… My best words are never spoken,
My best poems will never be written,
My best love, He is always hidden…

He is with me, where no one else can be,
He always listens, He never turns away from me,
Before I call upon Him, He is already calling upon me,

My Lord, You blind me,
You make me deaf and mute,
Until nothing else matters
But You,

Not even me,

Until I see nothing… Only you.
………….

How far can we fall down the rabbit hole, contemplating Him? He draws us near, leaving divine crumbs on the forest floor. But He warns, ‘Of My Essence, do not try to contemplate!’

Which is fine to me. For He has chosen to portray Himself through the mirror of love, of mercy, and of compassion. He has gilded what can be known of Him by us mere mortals, in a dress of beauty and desirability. God has made Himself desirable to us, however foolish and sinful we can be. Love calling upon the beloved servant.

And we move to Him through the guided guide, Nabi Muhammad (saws) Beloved Servant of God, none more in a state of humility and servanthood to Allah (swt), none more beloved and honoured by Allah Almighty and His Angels.

My rambling poetry has no meaning without the sign of love upon all creation, being none other than our Prophet Muhammad (saws). And even when the prose appears wholly enraptured to God’s Love alone, truth be told, God will look to us most favourably only when we present ourselves as a weakly sheep to His shepherd, a needful servant to His Beloved Servant, as one of the Nation of Muhammad, as people of moderation and the middle way – as taught to us by the Seal of the Prophets, Nabi Muhammad (saws).

Love? By God, may Nabi Muhammad (saws) the Beloved Servant show us its Hidden Realities. And let us not fall for facsimiles! I think this is a worthwhile quest to undertake. Don’t you agree, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

Love That Only Aunts Seem To Have

Mak Andak 2Lawa. I took a picture of my aunt Mak Andak and was checking it in the camera screen. “Lawa (pretty)!” I thought out loud (I flatter myself that I have the ‘eye’. And only after one week of owning a compact). Mak Andak, who was with me, noticed my preoccupation and asked, “Apa yang lawa tu (What is so pretty)?” I explained that it was a picture of her. She smiled and said, “Kalau gambar Mak Andak lawa, nak tengok la (If my picture is pretty, I want to see it)!”

Sight. So I handed her the camera, and she looked into the small back screen. But no matter how she turned and angled the camera, no matter how close she peered, I saw that she couldn’t actually see the picture clearly. “Mak Andak tak boleh nampak la (I cannot see it).” With a grin of resignation, she passed the camera back to me.

You Still Are. When we are not able to see or hear as well as we used to… When doubt assails us, when weariness ails us, it is good if we have lived  a full and generous life, so that people might remind us, “You were wonderful.  and you know what? …You still are.”

Don’t you agree, sunshine?

Aunts. May all our old aunts continue to grin and bear life with such fortitude that has carried them through and had carried us along with such love and affection that only aunts seem to have. They are not grumpy, you know. They just live life passionately!

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

Kuntum, Family, Separation and Love

Slide5Family. We are surrounded by our family. They may make trenchant remarks and unsympathetic observations about our lifestyle, diet and exercise regime. But we wouldn’t want to change one atom of who they are, be they our father or mother, our brother or sister, or even our aunts, uncles, cousins  or pets twice removed.

My brother. Our family are simply who they are. And they have accepted us as who we are. It is only good Adab (manners) that we likewise, accept them whatever their perceived foible. I learn this lesson at the crucible of death, with the untimely passing of my brother, Saiful Bahri a.k.a. Poone, also known to me as Abang Chik, almost 2 years ago.

Abang ChikSeptember 14th, 2013. He died in my arms that night, and instinctively I knew as he breathed his last, that a big part of me has suddenly left this physical world to return to our Lord All-Loving. Good for my brother, but by God how I miss him still. For though we are different physically and even emotionally, I am still a part of him as he is a part of me. He is my first master, you see, before I even knew what the word meant for a salica (seeker).

That is what happens when our kin or friend leaves us, sunshine. We know that we love them. But how much we love them? …Only God knows. And it is often only separation that makes us realise the depth of our love, and in consequence, our sorrowful loss.

Of course, I am happy for my brother certainly, and that everything happens as God wills and plans it to happen. But I cannot deny that I miss him still.

You understand me, don’t you, sunshine?

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

Your Prayers Matter. You Matter.

226330_10150169952279023_4175171_nMemories Past and Future
Life is all about memories,
Memories with your kin and friends,
Memories of days you wish would never end,
Memories of days that could not end sooner,
Memories of tears and laughter,
Draughts of happiness and regret,
Cups of joy and bitters served
That we will never forget…

And for the future?
All our plans and hopes of making more memories…

So what is the present
But a transient moment awake
Between memories we already have and
Memories we plan to make?
……………

Content = Memories. Life is all about generating content. And these contents are commonly known as memories. I would like to write more, but I am late for my prayers and I wish to create a memory tonight with God. Good people do it all the time without even thinking about it, perhaps coming to them as easily as breathing. But Notrumi is a sinner and have not had much practice. So I shall pray now. And will you also pray that I am making sweet memories with our Lord?

Allah gives and gives and gives divine sweetness from His Love, and this does not reduced or diminished your own portion that He has promised you since pre-eternal. So please pray for this poor sinner in this Holy Month and surely Allah Almighty will give you more in return!

5451_109180257843_543202843_2382546_7545878_nYou matter. I know how  wonderful you are, sunshine, and your prayers will be like tokens of hope strung as starlit pearls across the cosmos of my most wishful dreams and the nights of my most dreadful nightmares. So don’t let your blaming ego persuade you otherwise! Your prayers matter. You matter. You matter to your father and mother, you matter to your brothers and sisters, and you matter to all your memories present and future…

Believe me.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

Ramadhan with Kuntum the Pet Baby Elephant

Kuntum3Mr. Ali, thinks himself highly analytical and perceptive, often getting riled and bothered reading the postings, comments and replies on Facebook – especially when he comes across the self-appointed social commentators, moralizing guardians of right and wrong and other assorted do-gooders. In his indignation however, he often comes close to mimicking those whom he disapproves of. Fortunately, dear Kuntum, like most baby elephants, is always there to remind Mr. Ali that however self aware he may be, there is always another level for him to aspire to.

I think Mr. Ali is lucky to have a pet baby elephant like Kuntum.

Don’t you agree, sunshine?

He he he.

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way

Brave Enough to Surrender

Be Brave and Surrender
If you want servanthood, master yourself,
If you want knowledge, admit your ignorance,
If you want to be good, know that you are often wrong,
If you want something, anything, everything, seek nothing,
If you want a Homecoming, be a traveler,

If you want True Love, promise your heart to no other,

And if you want to win…?

Be brave, my soul, and surrender.
………….

Meaning. Everything is known by its opposites, as the wise-cracking mystics often say. And indeed, the nobility of man, bravery in the face of danger, patience in the storm of troubles, compassion despite provocations, wit in the most trying of occasions… to gain all this and more, we are told to surrender. To submit… which is of course, the lasting meaning of Islam. And to what end? For our own happiness, surely and certainly.

Divine Presence. God would not have planned it any other way, I reckon. Loving you, loving us as He does… beyond our wildest, maddest hopes and dreams of His Love. For He desires our company. Us negligible shaft of a soul. How crazy are we to prefer any other engagement? Not knowing… not imagining the divine pleasure of the Lord’s companionship. It is for such weighty affairs do the mystics ceaselessly polish their soul and purify their manners – devotion and remembrance in worshipful intimacy. Through all the contradictions and contrarian nature that often animate our human experience… through the sweet and sour, the days and nights, the rights and wrongs, through all our hopes and fears. Each visceral moment, inexplicably resonating with the message – Remember Me, Remember Me, Remember Me…Camera 360

wa min Allah at-taufiq

Hate has no place in Islam
Love will show the Way